The Thought of you

Figuring it all out.

4-6-07

Loneliness

My motivation for so much more than I want it to be.

I’m independent, yeah.  But when I sit and my date won’t answer her phone all I think are crazy thoughts.  My desire for you, for someone, for anyone drives me to be desperate.  And believe me that’s the last thing I ever want.

My cool calm plan is blown out the window because I just want you to love me, and I always think you might not.  I want to be cherished, to be wanted not needed…but isn’t this just me, needing you.

It’s not you actually.  Don’t get confused.  I mean I like you, But I want you to be there for me.  To rub my feet; kiss my sweetly, but not long.  Hold my hand and smile at me. Bring me coffee in the morning.  Surprise me.  I just want you.

And right now that shape takes a form but you know I don’t expect you to be this.  It’s just this desire inside me and I can’t pretend it’s not there and since you fill my shape I might get you confused with my you sometimes.  I don’t mean to, but I think I do want to.

So I sit alone in my room and I just want you to call; but I don’t, cause you’re not him.  But I do….because I guess you are.

And this sudo name of “casual” is new for me, but I like it, love it in fact.  It’s just hard to get used to and “a girl’s gotta dream,” right?Image

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s