Figuring it all out.
My motivation for so much more than I want it to be.
I’m independent, yeah. But when I sit and my date won’t answer her phone all I think are crazy thoughts. My desire for you, for someone, for anyone drives me to be desperate. And believe me that’s the last thing I ever want.
My cool calm plan is blown out the window because I just want you to love me, and I always think you might not. I want to be cherished, to be wanted not needed…but isn’t this just me, needing you.
It’s not you actually. Don’t get confused. I mean I like you, But I want you to be there for me. To rub my feet; kiss my sweetly, but not long. Hold my hand and smile at me. Bring me coffee in the morning. Surprise me. I just want you.
And right now that shape takes a form but you know I don’t expect you to be this. It’s just this desire inside me and I can’t pretend it’s not there and since you fill my shape I might get you confused with my you sometimes. I don’t mean to, but I think I do want to.
So I sit alone in my room and I just want you to call; but I don’t, cause you’re not him. But I do….because I guess you are.