Clear

5-27-08

I want you to get it.
I apologize that we have been a bit –blageau (cloudy) [unclear] translucent.
 
Come into these words. I want you to understand them.
You may misconstrue, misread or misinterpret; just don’t neglect to get in it.
Feel it to its full comprehension.
Let your fingers sink in the substance and dig around.
 
Because I really want you to feel,
I cant let a chance to touch something solid pass us by.
 
When I write I always want it to be significant,
I like when it rocks my perception—makes my thoughts open up.
Sometimes I just let the words run wild.
I skip back to it and I’ve just realized you have no clue what I’m talking about.
 
I think you need to feel it too.
I’m not looking for a shared experience…I guess I’m just looking to share.
 
So take my apology for every over-thought apostrophe, every idea so surreal Dali couldn’t paint it. 
It’s more important that you are touching it than passing your eyes over top of big, insignificant words.
 
“Draw me unto you and we will run together,”
I will be clear and you can really get it.

Clear

stop

6-13-08

stop

just stop

pick a spot turn, drop to

stop.

 

just stop

 

blundering, wondering, numbering.

Please, stop.

 

and stop.

take a chair,

couch,

floor,

door,

war,

whore,

more

stop. cease. release. in one piece. no niece.

(I’m too young and far more likely.)

 

flirting, skirting, inverting

my face so it’s me,

to a tee, and now free, to be, prett-ee,

 

and stop.

 

2..4..5..6

stop.

block this sock

take a bow you have wowed them all with how you

stop 1..2 stop 4..5 stop 7.. and

 

stop.

 

Courtesy of Smash Materials

stop-dance-splash

I Want Community

Courtesy of Kings of Convenience

Courtesy of Kings of Convenience

6-6-07

So I want that–

the album art of Kings of Convenience incarnating itself in my disconnected days.

I want the touch of a person beside me breathing,

creating a place where my day to day gets noticed.

Not independent, but connected, wholly needing, completely wanting just to touch, just knowing someone is there, that we care about more then just our “faith”-which has turned so cold in my arms.

Bring me the blanket of broken relationships, the warm tears of connected imperfection

the incomparable beauty of unconditional acceptance,  the real smile in loving the only way we know how.

–Desiring relationship.

Hoping that a genuine relationship is more than just an old wives tale,

Caring more then just the next laugh, or the comfortable flow of non-confrontational conversation.

I want to touch, I want a crash, I want my pieces to be broken and mixed in with yours.

I think the cuts might heal us both.

Stop my individualistic bullshit, I want community.

 

Mistake

5-24-07

I always tell myself live and learn when I make a mistake.

But am I really learning if I keep making the same mistakes?

 

 

Why do I screw up all my relationships up?

or they screw me up.

 

 

I think I forgot how to sit

-the art of doing nothing.

 

 

Come back to me España,

teach me how to listen, how to breath again.

 

 

I’m so picky about my friends

yet I want to be friend with everyone,

why is that?

In This

Photo by _urbanizr. Some rights reserved.

Photo by _urbanizr. Some rights reserved.

4-2-07

It’s in these moments that I live,

When life is so real that all I can do is breath.

In and out, in and out.

When my heart aches too much to speak.

When my best friend can only cry over the phone.

When I like you, and our lips touch…

When I smile, because no one is watching .

When I can dream about perfect, because it definitely is not.

My eyes shut and I am alive.

Breathing in, breathing out.

(Maybe that’s why we like kissing so much

Because our mouths are stopped and all we can do is breath.)

It’s in these moments that I live,

When the breaths are all I can think of.